Saturday, June 22, 2002

I ended up sleeping very lightly last night. I had a nightmare in which the Better Half had to get radiation for cancer! These nurses came and wheeled him away. I remember feeling no real comfort as these women who dressed and worked like me told me cheerfully that things were going to be okay. I woke up in a panic that stayed with me. I got to work and just started crying. I went into the bathroom to cool down, and managed, by some chance, to pull myself together and work through the day, with a lot of TLC from my co-workers, not to mention the sweetest patients a nurse could hope for.

I see these people with cancer, and I see their husbands and wives, and how they live day to day with this disease, and sometimes, just for a second, I think..what if it happened to us? Then I put it out of my head because the thought is too horrible. This dream allowed me to see it vividly, and it was out of my control. My co-worker Karen said it was probably me taking my work home with me, coupled with the fact that I feel separated from the Better Half a lot (Karen is buku smart; she is getting her MSN). My other co-worker Cathy told me our other co-worker Rhoda, was a vivid dreamer also. "In fact, she's killed me off in a couple of her dreams!" Cathy chuckled. Right now, I'd kill for the dream I had the other night- I was in a huge, endless breakfast buffet line! I was piling huge pieces of French toast and hash browns on my plate. It was such a bummer to wake up before I got a chance to eat!

Anyway, tonight the Better Half and I are playing it low-key. We went to Mass to see Father John, and I finally got a great hug from him. It's been too long. We had 4 babies baptized. It was a great Mass, very upbeat vibe coming from everyone. He deserves it.




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