Tuesday, February 27, 2007

My Top Five Favorite "Heroes"

Last night's episode was my favorite so far this season. So here are my favorite characters so far:
5) Issac. He's super sonic Basquiat
4) Micah. Cute kid in a fucked up family situation who can make quarters shoot out of pay phones. Problem is, who the hell uses a pay phone nowadays?
3) Claire. Claire rules. She is strong and smart. At first I thought that whole "Save the cheerleader" thing would play into the whole whiny Princess Leia type plotline, but we never saw Claire sweat. Last night's episode make me like her a lot more.
2) Hiro. Who here hates Hiro? Anyone? Of course not.
And finally, my favorite hero so far...
1) Mr. Muggles!
(Oh, you know they've gotta do SOMETHING with that. He gets more screen time now than Sylar!)

Keep watching Heroes, 9pm on NBC (and they're not paying me to say that!!!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

We can rebuild her. We have the technology.

Shaving her head, mucho partay-ing and a now three time attempt to stay in Rehab.

Britney's not punk, she's metal!

Anyhoo, now seems the perfect time for my new favorite pop tart (Mandy Moore has been knocked to second place) to get a new groove. It seems like the old gang has grown stale and definately neglectful of our girl. If anyone has been to a metal show, one knows it's a big goofy brotherhood where people watch each others backs. (That is, if it's good metal.) Soooo, I've been kicking around this idea for a couple of days, and by God, I think it could work. Here's my Metal Dream Team for Britney so she can become longer, stronger and faster!

NEW MOM: Mia Farrow. Mia's a power mom, having raised and adopted some 19 kids, and most of them live nice, well adjusted lives. Mia would be gentle and patient with Brit as she works through her issues. Also, Mia knows what it's like to divorce and come out on top, so she's a good mentor. Also, wouldn't you love it to have a mom who made Rosemary's Baby?!

NEW MANAGER: Sharon Osborne. Sharon's a mover, a shaker, a money maker. Sharon makes tragedy into gold roses and scented pink toilet paper. Sharon's the woman to help Britney make the biggest music makeover in rock history. BritFest anyone? Sharon will help!

NEW LABEL: Relapse. Little label that can do.

NEW ALBUM TITLE: Britney: I AM Nancy Spungeon. This one's not for the kiddies. Brit can go to a really dark place here, a place many older angsters can relate to.

NEW VIDEO: Cover of Fozzy's "Enemy" (This would be cool. She could sing it to the paparazzi and the radio stations! And in the video, she hits things with bats and burns down stuff. With her bald head, she'll be Ass Kickin Britney!

NEW BAND: The guys from Alabama Thunderpussy. I don't think they'd actually do it, but...it'd be so cool.

NEW BFF: Jennifer Hudson, Claire Bennet, Kelly Osbourne, Parker Posey, PJ Harvey, Maria Bamford, The Donnas, Jessica Alba, My sister Shannon and her friend Becky, Meg White, Tess Sweet, Kathleen Hanna, Missy Elliot, The Powerpuff Girls, Gwen Stefani, Gretchen Blieler, Amy Dumas, Juliette Lewis, Anna Paquin and of course, Ms. Mandy Moore. Who needs a Hilton hag when you can have the creme de la creme of strong female empowerment right here! Brits new posse will build her up but gently kick her arse if she screws up.

NEW OLDER HIP FEMALE MENTORS: Nancy Sinatra, Robin McGraw, Farrah Fawcett, Gloria Steinham, Candace Bergen, Phyllis Diller, Sandra Bernhard, Ms. Marvel, Oprah, Janet Jackson, The Fabulous Moolah, Betty Dodson, and Ann and Nancy Wilson. Brit can't really surround herself with any old weirdos at this time. These are just good olde girls who have taken some hard knocks as well, and came out singing (and making good money to boot)!

NEW REQUIRED READING LIST: BUST Magazine, Backlash by Susan Faludi, Wonder Woman comics, Between Boyfriends by Cindy Chupack and Me by Katherine Hepburn


NEW HOBBIES WHILE SHE DETOXES: Stitch N Bitch club, Jump Rope, Eliptical training, Snowboarding

NEW BOY TOY: Kyle Thomas. We know. Brit should wait at least 6 months to a year before getting involved with any dude. But when it's time, Kyle would be a great choice. He's such a hottie onstage, I can't imagine what he's like in private. (And unfortunately, my husband says I'm not even allowed to do that either).

NEW PLATONIC MALE FRIENDS: Marilyn Manson, Patton Oswalt, Elton John, Kevin Smith, Josh Homme, Scott Ian, Eugene Mirman, Brian Posehn, Henry Rollins, Lemmy, Beck, John Cusack, Zakk Wylde, Slash, Dee Snider, Jack Black, Pepper Keenan, Vinnie Paul and Bob Harper (who can also double as NEW TRAINER). These are the boys to hug when you need one, and you don't have to worry about them making a grab for one of your twins (except for Vinnie, but he grabs EVERYONE'S boobs). Plus, lots of these guys are functionally married, so Brit can hang out with their wives as well!

Don't know about you, but I can't wait!

Monday, February 19, 2007

Britney Goes Punk

I like it!!!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

John Force is a Major Douche and other stuff I learned on cable

We took an overnight getaway at a local Richmond hotel for Valentines day and we just got back. Everything was just great, and for the first time in a long time we had cable in the room. We settled down and flipped through the channels. And flipped and flipped some more. Basically when we left and checked out, we both agreed we were happy to be cable free once more.

First up, everyone has a reality show. And everyone who has a reality show is a major douche. We saw one called Driving Force. Driving Force is about a guy named John Force (catchy, ain't it!) who is apparently a major figure in drag racing. He crashes a lot, according to his own voice over during the credits. He's kind of a cross between a coked up Nick Nolte and Dale Earnhart. He's rather loud and domineering. His three Barbie Doll daughters, with his Barbie doll wife, are on the show as well. One of the girls is involved in racing as well. The opening scene involved Force attempting to talk to one daughter about some rebellious ways. Most of the conversation had to be bleeped due to the staggering amounts of profanity, as well as a loud diatribe about the family cat, that Force said resembled a sponge. The next scene he grabbed the cat in order to show us all "a trick" He held the cat in his arms, the cat stretched out in lower arms, and amid the protests of his wife and daughters, suddenly dropped the cat. You can see a couple of the daughters flinch. Later on, there is a scene where the older daughter, Ashley, competes in a drag race where the other car hits the wall. I got confused and thought it was indeed the Force car that ran into the wall, and for a moment, actually was glad that someone from the family could have been facing serious bodily harm. I felt ashamed, and turned off the television soon after. But I have a feeling that shame and lost hope as well as large amounts of abuse are somethng that this family deals with on a regular basis.

Also, I learned all about Anna Nicole's life. Twice. Once on E! and once on Biography.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Mixed Nuts, We Hardly Knew Ye!

The Taylor Behl book was actually an easy read if you could get through the first chapters. Taylor's mom's a bit hard to love at first, but at the end of the book, your heart goes out to her.

We also mourn the passing of an awesome blog, Mixed Nuts. It was awesome, and it will be missed. :(

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Just...okay...just...wow. Just...wow

At 4:30 we were at Waldenbooks and I decided to buy the bio on local Richmond murder celebrity Taylor Biel. At 5:30 I call my sister to tell her I've lost 49 pounds, and she tells me that Anna Nicole Smith died.

It's a True Crime Thursday.

I have nothing really clever to say about this right now. Maybe I'l think of something later.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?