Friday, December 06, 2002

The Better Half is sick. He says it’s his stomach. He sleeps for long periods of time when he comes down with something. So he’s been here and I have been tending to him, assisted by Nurse Chessie, who gives her own medicine of T.L.C.

Last night, we stayed in and rented a cinematic masterpiece featuring my man actor, Russell Crowe. Proof of Life was the movie he made in Ecuador with Meg Ryan. He also made other things with Meg Ryan that trip…but that is a different story. The plot involves Russ, in various beautiful silk suits with wide shirt collars, as a kidnapping and hostage recovery expert who says “Mate” a lot. Meg’s husband gets kidnapped by painfully stereotypical banditos and it’s up to Russ to save the day. Even though Meg gets top billing, it is so obvious whose movie it is. Russ and David Caruso team up to save Meg’s man, and the climactic scene features these two studs kicking some serious stereotypical bandito ass! Russ wears a cute hat and a black tank top and wields a gun. This is without a doubt an Oscar moment. Also, Russ swims in Meg’s pool with just a pair of shorts on. I was ready to give him a Golden Globe.

So let’s recap why Russell Crowe is great:
1) Black tank top, cute hat, and gratuitous wet shots. Oh, and the suits. Can’t forget the suits.
2) The smile. Russ has this great smile that says “Aw shucks,” but means, “I’d really like it if you’d rip my clothes off, Mate.”
3) My boyfriend doesn’t actually mind that I drool over Russ. In fact, it gives him an excuse to watch action-adventure movies without having to listen to my whining about how boring the plotline is. (Although Russell does chose projects that have good, compelling plot lines)
4) Meg and Russ share a steamy kiss before he goes off to save Hostage Hubby. You can obviously see the chemistry between them. There are times it seems Meg has to think twice to remember her lines because she’s staring and thinking naughty thoughts about what she wants to do to her costar after the director yells “cut.” And I don’t blame the woman one bit. Russ is a rare breed of male species. He reminds me a lot of Frank Sinatra. Women couldn’t get enough of Frank’s tough guy crooner status. Russ not only acts, he plays rock and roll music and is apparently a decent singer as well. Sure, he gets into a lot of scrapes in real life, but it seems so simple to avoid this…just don’t piss him off. Just like dealing with Frank.
5) He knits. It’s true! He learned how as a boy in New Zealand! Go to the ChickKnits website if you don’t believe me!

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