Sunday, February 09, 2003

Here is my attempt at a George Carlin imitation, inspired by true events:
You know what makes me prone to violence? Sheer waste. Like I saw on tv today- bimbos having a pillow fight. Feathers come out of broken pillows. You know how expensive pillows are?
These little STD prone princesses at a slumber party have the audacity to break their parents pillows. If my own daughter, or bridesmaids for that matter, did that, I'd punch her in her face multiple times. Then I'd smack around her little twerpy friends. Then I'd have everyone's parents come and pick them up, take my daughter's bedding, blankets, curtains and broken pillows, along with her tv out of her room for the rest of the school year. Hopefully, the incident would occur during the coldest reported winter in January, so the little turd would really learn her lesson. THen I'd make her spend all of her Saturdays stuffing the pillows and sewing them back together. And if she hadn't learned her lesson the first time and it happens again, I'd be forced to give her up for adoption, because I really hate stupid children.

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