Saturday, April 05, 2003

Here is my idea for a new MTV reality series: The Real World Goes To War.

I mean it. This thought stems from an article I came across in a "Where Are They Now?" thing. There are Real World cast members who, despite being 30ish and having been on the Real World almost 10 years ago, are still making their living by being Real World Cast Members, coming back year after year to do Real World promotions and to engage in even worse reality competition shows against other cast members of Real World and Real World's mentally challenged bastard cousin reality show, Road Rules, all courtesy of the "brilliant" minds of MTV, which wouldn't recognize originality if it bitch slapped them and mounted them doggie style. So, I propose, in case any MTV "producers" are watching, that we do the best thing possible for these pheebs who insist on forever living the sad life of an MTV reality series hack.

We send them to war in Iraq.

It'd be great. Let these little sunbunny girls and big no-necked hip hop wannabe fools take up arms against an enemy that may or may not significantly impact global peace. Give them uniforms, shave their pretty heads, give them guns, teach them to kill, and send them out to war. They're not that smart, they'd be easy to train. They'd be doing some soldiers a favor. If they go, maybe some Marine who also is a mother of two won't have to be taken as a POW, only to be killed and have her children grow up without a mother, may get to stay stateside with her children. Maybe a 19 year old with a promicing future won't have to die. They can be human shields! And in the case that one of these poor pitiful souls actually defies the laws of nature and ends up as a hero, they can stand on the White House lawn with a medal on their chest and tell everyone, "I owe it all to MTV!"

My God, it would be Star Spangled Banner Beautiful.

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