Monday, January 19, 2004

I've become convinced that there are three main divisions of my life: personal, professional, spiritual. I've also become convinced that as soon as one or two are in sync, the third turns to shite.

I am speaking mainly about my spiritual life. Up until now, for the past 3 years, life between me and The Big Guy Upstairs was great. I had a great church I could get involved in, and a spiritual guide in Father John Leonard that was superior, in that, he knew all my dirty secrets yet still never judged me.

This week, that was taken away. For reasons I am still very confused over, Father John retired from active priestly ministry, following two guilty pleas of misdemeanor child sexual abuse and being placed on administrative leave by the acting Cardinal.

As far as I am concerned, I stand by Father John as a friend, regardless of guilt or innocence. I still believe that he is a good person, a Holy and wise man, but also human. I think that the actions of the Cardinal are appropriate and justified. I think it's the end to a very painful time for many people.

For the past few days, I've felt adrift. I've almost always used church to ground me. Not having it to look forward to anymore has made me feel anxious, edgy. I'm not ashamed to say that the only reason I went to St. Mikes was because of Fr John. Now, it's simply become The Church My Ex Fiancee Goes To. So I've decided to move on. I'm probably going back to my parent's church, St. Bridgets, for now. And I'm trying to remain optimistic in that this may lead to a profound spiritual quest that will make me a wiser woman.

I hope it works out.

Comments: Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?