Tuesday, February 17, 2004

FiFi and I were up at 3:00 this morning- Fee was shredding the roll of Charmin that she had knocked down. I was contemplating crocheting in an attempt to fall back to sleep, which I did, successfully, for about an hour, at approximately 5:00AM. I never sleep well the night before I am on-call, for some strange reason. I have rather irrational anxiety about having to be called out at night the next night and face sleep deprivation the day after, which is totally bogus as a) most of the time I'm able to shake it off quite nicely, and b) most of the staff realizes how crappy it is to be call-related sleep deprived, and are very sympathetic and flexible and c) I have all of Wednesday night and Thursday night to catch up.

Also, I have an irrational fear of weekend call. I'm afraid that there will be a situation, or maybe a multitude of situations, in which I will not be able to handle. Also completely bogus, as, having been at this job for close to a year, having handled patients from Ashland to Gilpin Court, there is a rare scenario that hasn't been addressed, that I have not been trained to handle.

It's so strange, phobias. On Saturday night, Andrew and I were discussing phobias, and, having had way too much alcohol to converse with someone as intelligent as Andrew, who happened to be stone cold sober at the time, I showed him the latest Cosmo which featured an article about confronting phobias. After which I cannot remember what happened, but apparently he, Heath and John were discussing having facials done.

Meantime, I am trying, rather successfully I might add, to combat my fears. Wish me luck.

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