Friday, February 25, 2005

Well, if you've read John's blog, you've heard that a member of Korn found Jesus (funny, I didn't know He was lost...) and quit the band, and that Korn fans around the world have proclaimed it "sad." I have to agree with my fiancee that this is not necessarily a sad event. We discussed a panel of experts (namely Sajji and Ed, and Pamela and her friend Chris) and we came up with a little game known to us as "Sad Is..." The purpose of the game is to name truly sad events in rock-n-roll, such as Pamela's brilliant observations:
Sad Is...when the pyro at your gig catches the roof of the venue on fire, and over 80 people burn to death (Great White)
Sad Is..when Michael Jackson describes YOU as weird. (LaToya Jackson- no not really!)

So, here are my two cents:

SAD IS...when the groupie you diddled in the 70's, now a pop-culture icon, pens a tell-all book of her escapades and reveals the shortcomings of, um, your endowments. (Actually, this one is fabricated, although groupie icon Pamela Des Barres had wonderful things to say about Jimmy Page's endowments.)

SAD IS...that you rocked hard in the 70s and 80s, did every drug known to man and beast, only to sober up in the 90s, have a career of power ballads and are sharing the stage with f-ckin' N Sync at the Super Bowl halftime show.

SAD IS...that the next year, you're the PRE-GAME SHOW. (Both Aerosmith)

SAD have bubbles as an ornament at your concert. (ozzy Osbourne)

SAD of your hardest bad-ass songs is covered by Celine Dion. (AC/DC)

SAD IS...your songs suck when you're clean. (The Bangles)

SAD IS...your fan base flounders when your band gets haircuts. (Metallica)

SAD're a live fast, die young poster boy, yet you're still alive 30 years later, still touring. (Keith Richards)

SAD IS...that your band breaks up over your independent minded, intelligent, artist wife, who the rest of the band thinks is a shrew. (The Beatles)

SAD IS...your female lead singer has kids with at least two male band members. (Jefferson Airplane/Starship)

SAD IS...You have to rename your band as the decades progress. (again, Jefferson Airplane/Starship)

SAD IS...your latest video is apologizing to your kids that their mother was a former drug addict and was someone to be ashamed of. (Eminem)

SAD IS...the "little person" who was your sidekick onstage dies of natural causes. (Kid Rock- R.I.P Little Joe)

SAD won a Grammy despite the fact that you didn't really sing on the entire album. (Milli Vanilli)

SAD IS...your band really CAN sing and play instruments, just that the television producers won't let you. (The Monkees)

SAD spent the equivalent of a GPA of a third world country to buy your dream mansion, only to go bankrupt, forcing the IRS to confiscade "HammerLand." (MC Hammer).

SAD IS...many animals have died as a result of your concerts (Alice Cooper, Ozzy again).

SAD IS...your wife, then your daughter, is your dancer onstage. (Alice Cooper again)

SAD're the daughter of a rock-n-roll icon, yet you have to cover a Madonna song to get played on MTV. (Kelly Osbourne)

SAD're probably one of the most talented, prolific, and over all coolest guitarists in the world, yet many doofuses only recognize you from "Aqua Teen Hunger Force." (Zakk Wylde)

This is fun.

Comments: Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?