Jamma Party: The Life of Jenn Y.

I've been watching the coverage of the past few days on this whole thing out of Sacramento. For those of you who don't know, I'll paraphrase: A Sacramento radio station held a water drinking contest where the prize was a Nintendo Wii. One of the contestants, a 28 year old mother of three named Jennifer Strange, was believed to have drank over 2 gallons of water in a very short period of time. She died the same day, and now the Sacramento police are launching a criminal investigation, and Mrs. Strange's family is filing a civil suit against the radio station. There are mountains of transcripts of Mrs. Strange speaking with the three DJs of the morning show where she appears to be crying and complaining of severe pain. Eye witnesses say that her stomach was portruding and one of the jocks joked that she "looked pregnant." A nurse practitioner and her coworker, a registered nurse, called into the radio station to warn the DJs that some contestants showed signs of water intoxication, but were told by the DJs that since the contestants signed releases, that it was "okay."

I'm not really sure what to think of the whole mess. It's a sad world when a mom resorts to life-threatening illness to satisfy some materialistic pseudo-need. Chances are, if she had won, her kids and family now wouldn't want to touch the prize. Also, one can't simply write this woman off as a helpless martyr- she engaged in behavior that was causing her to feel ill, yet she continued to a dangerous extreme. Still, I can't help seething when I hear the shock jock DJs joking about contestants feeling sick as a result of the contest, and making flippant remarks about releases and liability. They deserve to be terminated from their positions, and more than likely will never be hired by any other radio station, and could very well face criminal charges if the rather damning evidence (which has been recorded and transcripted ALL over the internet) turns against them in court. I applaud the two nurses who called in to the station, as well as the people of Sacramento who insisted loudly to the D.A. (who originally was not going to launch an investigation) that enough was enough. I'll continue to watch with great interest as this story develops.

I just heard about the power clique of mean cheerleaders in a Texas school. One of their mommies was the principal, so they got to torture other girls to the point of tears and tell-all interviews on Hannity and Combs. I say to the little girls out there, chin up, because there is tons of great revenge practical gags out there to put a mean and slutty cheerleader in her place- putting Nair in her gym locker shampoo bottle and itching powder in her lollipop panties are two favorites. But I have to say that one only look to a popular TV cartoon to exact a unique revenge. So here it is...

The Top Eleven South Park Revenge Pranks for Mean Texas Cheerleaders:

11- Killer apocalyptic shape shifting school binder (Trapper Keeper)

10- When the mother ship lands, send the aliens to their homes for Anal Probe Fest (Cartman Gets An Anal Probe)

9- When your strange Aunt Flo visits with a creepy present of poisson, send the little fish on a forensically undetectible killing spree (SpookyFish)

8- Sign them up for David Blane's Suicide Cult (Super Best Friends)

7- Get the Gayest Guy Slut in town to challenge them to a "Whore-Off" then watch with glee as he ass swallows them whole! (Stupid Spoiled Whore Playset)

6- Tell the local bumpkin police that the squad "molestered" you. Mention bad touches for bonus points. (The Wacky Molestation Adventure)

5- School band plays the Brown Noise during pep rally causing cheerleaders to shit their lollies. (World Wide Recorder Concert)

4- Weight Gain 4000 in their lattes (Weight Gain 4000)

3- Hire illegal immigrants to smear the walls of their houses with poo (My Future Self N' Me)

2- Serve them their parents ground up in a chili gone horribly wrong (Scott Tennerman Must Die)

And the number one South Park Revenge Prank for Mean Texas Cheerleaders:
1- Two Words: MR HAT!