Jamma Party: The Life of Jenn Y.

What I learned this Christmas:

1) Life is short. Drive carefully, especially around the Gaskins Road/Patterson Avenue area. Shannon's best friend's brother was killed Christmas Eve in a car accident.

2) Money truly is not everything.

3) It's okay not to like Celine Dion

4) I am very easily threatened by other women when it comes to my husband. Even if said woman is my own mother. (No, it's not a Jerry Springer type thing. She just wanted to buy him an IPOD for his birthday in January. So...I'm buying him an IPOD for Christmas. I'm sorry, but I think mother-in-law gifts should be lame and non-upstaging to the wife. I told her to get him a Sports Illustrated Shoe Phone. For that is the perfect mother-in-law gift)

5) My family Christmas would not be overwhelming...if I was Jessica Simpson. Because in Jessica Simpson's family, it's apparently normal for 9 year olds to get IPODs, 15 year olds to get cars, and for others to get waterford crystal glasses.

6) It's okay to want to work on Christmas next year. :D And so I am!

I've discovered Sweet Moves: The Bedroom Rockstar Workout, through a back issue of BUST that I was reading for shits and giggles during my time off. The exercises in Sweet Moves tone up your fun parts for better lovemaking. It's divided into four short workouts that involve large amounts of hip grinding and ass wigglin' along with toning lower torso muscles and a primer in Kegel exercises. The instructors are hotties and it's a lot of fun to do. It's also the first exercise video I've encountered in which the word "ass" is used. For more info, go to www.sweetmoves.com

Today was Day 3 of my new job as a home health nurse. It appears to be so far, so good. There appear to be a lot of similarities between home health and hospice, with a few big differences. Everyone in the office seems really nice, and it's a lot bigger than what I am used to, so the whole Dunder Mifflin-ishness of it is still a bit overwhelming. The benefits kick arse, and it's really neat to be affliated with a company that is so prominent in the area, after being with an unknown scrunt weenie company for so long.

I've tried aerobics classes out the yin-yang, and for me, a lot of the killjoy came when the music started blaring. Let's face it, aerobic instructors have horrible taste in music. So do the people who make aerobic soundtracks. I remember many an early morning shift at the Y cringing as old ladies water bounced to a nauseating score of technotized show tunes. A few lifeguards joked about stealing the tape and burning it. My dislike of house and techno made me turn off MTV at an early age, and now, living with a man who lives and breathes good ass-kickin' gut-bustin' metal, techno is a no-no in our house.

Still, it's fun to work out to music. I've got a large amount of CDs, and although there is no techno, I have a pretty good collection of funk, disco (another one DH will tolerate in very small doses), and Madonna. But we're finding that good metal can be just as effective. Black Label, Ozzy, ATP and, well, some Madonna, work really well. Queen and the Live Aid DVD concert also are awesome. Guns N Roses for a really bad day. And Pure Funk when you feel fun-loving. But no techno. Please no techno.

For the past few days, I've been engrossed in Alex Jamieson's book, The Great American Detox Diet. Jamieson, AKA Healthy Chef Alex, is the wife of Morgan Spurlock, who produced Super Size Me. Alex is a vegan chef and a nutritional counselor, and her book goes through an 8-week program similar to the one she introduced to Spurlock after the 30 day Mickey D's binge that almost turned his vital organs into liquid shite. It's a bit militant, and at times a bit alarmist, and seems sort of unrealistic for two poultry lovers like my DH and myself, but it's a fascinating read and has, for the most part, good advice.

As many of you know, we've been on a nutrition plan for several months now. Slowly, very slowly, we've been adding better quality of exercise to the mix, and the energy levels I've been experiencing have been out of this world. Right now, we've been conditioning ourselves with small intervals of cardio via our eliptical machine each week. We started out 5 minutes 5 times a week, gradually increasing the intervals every 2 weeks. We're now up to 20 minutes four times a week. Our ultimate goal is 30 minutes four times a week. Yesterday, I noticed I was feeling a bit sore. I'd found several yoga DVDs when we'd reorganized our massive DVD collection, and popped one in. By the end of the 30 minute workout, I was sweatin' and there was a whole new set of muscles that hadn't been worked in a while. I decided that it wouldn't be a bad idea to involve some sort of strength training in my elipitcal-free days. The two yoga DVDs I've had most experience with (which is minimal since I've only used one of them once) are Ali MacGraw-YogaMind&Body and Hemalaya Behl's Yoga For Urban Living. Ali MacGraw is the fabulous actress who played Jenny in Love Story (she was the gorgeous girl who wooed Ryan O'Neil in a very fabulous crocheted hat), and who, according to the DVD practices yoga daily. This was the first yoga video I'd ever purchased, and it remains my favorite so far. The scenery is beautiful and the instructions are pretty easy to follow, and the movements are basic hatha yoga poses, so no real weird bends are needed. Hemalaya Behl's video appears to be novice friendly, but I caught a mistake or two (she tells you "left" instead of "right") however, it's great for those who have very little space to practice. There are three main workouts- the "Morning Quickie" meant to energize and awaken the body, the "Evening Bathm" a relaxing and meditative flow, and the 60 min "Daily Connection" which is the main workout. As I type this, my triceps are rather sore from her Morning Quickie Sun Salutations. But all in all a pretty good at-home workout.

My last day wasn't too bad. I got an admission in, and finished up a bit early. I got some nice cards, and a potluck lunch and a gift card for a facial (okay, so they weren't such bastards anyway). But most importantly, I got my freedom.

This morning I went for a pre-employment physical. As part of the benefits package, employees in this new company can opt to participate in a wellness club. Success in the club can earn one up to $500 a year! I may be naive, but it makes me feel happy knowing there is a big company that supports their employees well-being. So far, so good. It seems a nice place to work, everyone seems very knowledgable.

I finished Dr. Stan's book and I liked it immensely. Also, I am waiting on Alex Jameson's book The Great American Detox Diet to be available at the local branch of our county library. Alex is also known as Healthy Chef Alex, who is the wife of documentarian Morgan "Super Size Me" Spurlock. If you liked SSM, we recommend his book, Don't Eat This Book!

Forgot to mention to all readers: our co-blog, Floyd Loves Janice, is updated regularly with our marriage stuff. Mostly now it's about the nutrition plan we're on and how we're doing, but other stuff gets posted there as well. Check it out!